Three years ago today, I became Mrs. Turner.
Marriage is amazingly wonderful. Marriage can also be tough. It’s not for the light-hearted or weak-minded. It takes courage, grace, patience, understanding and love. Not “The Notebook” kind of love. Because let’s face it, that love is staged. Not that we haven’t felt that kind of love or experienced those passionate kisses. Marriage is all of that, but it’s also so much more than just the good moments. Like any relationship worth having, we have our fair share of tough valleys too.
I’m talking about love as an action. As a choice. You know, when you know you’ve screwed up and deserve a tongue lashing, but he greets you with grace and just holds you while you cry. Or intentionally loving him when he has completely and utterly shattered your feelings and has left you feeling low, but you know deep in your heart that you will work it out…because divorce isn’t on the table.
That kind of love.
Marriage is also a gift. It’s a gift from our Heavenly Father that is intended to be a life long commitment. Everyday is a gift and everyday you have to work at having a great marriage.
For us, our wedding day was not about the dress or the flowers. We spent 10 months preparing for a marriage, not a wedding. Although we had already been living together, we knew we shouldn’t have been. Our pastor, who later became a dear friend, spoke truth in love to us 10 months before our marriage.
I could have been bull-headed (as I tend to be) that day, but as divorce rates are creeping over 50% (child of divorce myself), what did I have to lose to just listen to what he had to say?
Although I was hesitant to take his advice at first, I’m so thankful for the wisdom he shared that day. After our meeting, we went home and prayed. We prayed for wisdom and clarity as to what God wanted our marriage to be. We decided in that moment to follow God’s plan, not this world’s.
Our pastor checked in on us and often asked “How are you guys doing?”, but not in the conventional way. He was asking, boldly, if we were keeping our hearts pure until our wedding day. I wasn’t used to such boldness. But it’s what this stubborn heart needed to hear. I’m glad he had to courage to ask.
This shot was taken right after our pastor discretely asked us before the ceremony started “Well… did you make it?”.
We proudly answered yes.
Oh, that moment. That tender moment when my husband’s tear filled eyes looked at me like I’ve never been looked at before…. that was worth every minute of the wait. As the tears ran down his cheek he was able to simply mutter the words “You look so beautiful”.
That, is what every woman should feel on her wedding day.
He loves me like no man has ever loved me. He loves me like that, because he loves God first. God is at the center of our marriage and we are so blessed. We have tough days just like everyone else, but because we have God’s faithfulness and love to point each other to, our marriage has been an incredible journey. It’s unlike any relationship I’ve ever experienced. I never knew this kind of love existed. I never knew how much God really loves me. I thank God everyday for that, for our pastors and for my incredibly faithful husband.
I cannot describe the joy we both felt that day. Knowing that this marriage wasn’t “just a piece of paper”.
That it was the best day of our lives. So far.
Today, we celebrate three years of amazing, beautiful, passionate love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
